I recently listened to a lecture by Geoffrey Cohen, a Stanford University Professor who studies and intervenes with companies around “belonging”. In this lecture, he emphasized the importance of belonging and its impact on learning.
The core message of the discussion is: “Craft situations that foster belonging for as many people from as many walks of life as possible.”
This is pivotal for the future health and longevity of our Skew community. Currently, the initial few of us are fully vested, have known each other from before Skew, and share the same mindset and understanding of our goals.
However, anyone new joining our group will inevitably wonder, “Do I belong?”. Cohen elaborated on this, saying, “If you feel like your sense of belonging is on trial, and you’re uncertain if you’re regarded favorably… it consumes working memory, which is mental energy that could be used for learning, focusing, performing, and growing.”
People typically exhibit one of two behaviors when joining a new group or undertaking:
1. Be on guard — They are wary of potential ego threats and unsure of their place or acceptance in the group. The need an individual or two to engage with them and may or may not feel like they belong until some unforeseen moment happens.
2. Willing to engage — They seize opportunities, are eager to learn, may or may not contribute immediately, but would do so if they felt inclined. One or two engagements and they most likely will want to stay.
Past traumas, especially from our formative teenage years, deeply influence our trust levels. Our Skew community is a lot like our old school playground or classroom, where most people want to find friends and want to be met by friendly people. To fully think this through, Daniele and Dave first met in a community chat. Like many of you, had we not engaged and built a friendship, none of us would be on the cusp of this great Skew opportunity. Engaging and meeting new people is very powerful in this crypto space.
Also important, when we encounter someone new to our chat, displaying anger or animosity, I perceive that they might have experienced profound hurt in the past, which now surfaces as a “troll” persona, aiming to wound or control others as a defense mechanism. The hurt may be beyond crypto and most likely in some childhood or other trauma. Professor Cohen genuinely believes that some individuals are trapped in past traumas and won’t evolve until they discover a sense of belonging in a nurturing setting. Admittedly, some might be too far gone and should be distanced until they genuinely seek to be part of a collective cause.
Cohen didn’t prescribe a single formula to cultivate belonging. Instead, he advised his clients to create moments that are welcoming and personally engaging. Making a difference in one person’s life can be significant, without the entire community getting involved.
Consider the analogy of a party. Imagine attending a party where you know only who invited you. Most likely, you are filled with apprehension because of unfamiliar faces. Add in the fact that many people are from various cultures and speak different native languages. However, a friendly reception at the entrance, followed by a few engaging conversations, can turn the evening around. You wouldn’t need to interact with everyone present; connecting with just a handful can instill a sense of belonging, making you view the event positively and deterring any early exits. In fact, you may feel the event was too short as you had a great time and would love to meet again.
That’s the ethos we aspire for at Skew: a space where individuals feel they belong, irrespective of their crypto expertise or input. If we maintain the communal positive Skew spirit, everyone benefits.
Thus, simple acts like greeting an unfamiliar face, taking part in a poll, or sharing a mushroom picture can foster belonging.
For newcomers who anticipate Skew to be just another one of the numerous “storm chats” they frequent, a single welcoming gesture from someone in our community can profoundly affect their experience.
So, I hope we all see the value of being an umbrella to those seeking belonging.
